Ahhh, the Memories . . . Ouch

As I was working at the library today, I ran into Laurie, a girl who used to be a shelver with me way back in high school. I hadn't seen her in two years! We talked for a couple of minutes about our current lives (college for me, veterinarian school for her). She was surprised that I was working at the library again. She never got along well with any of our supervisors (mainly because she talked too much when she should have been working), and she hated working there, so I guess she assumed that I should hate working there as well (female minds work differently, I'm beginning to realize).

I felt awkward for most of the conversation. After all, she was the first girl I ever asked out . . . and, incidentally, the first girl who ever rejected me. I was only a kid way back then, but still. I had so much trouble even thinking of anything to say to her. I began with, "so, are you here to check out a book?" AGH! Of course she was there to get a book! It's a freakin' library! The conversation went downhill from there (eye contact proved difficult to maintain). To make things even worse, my boss passed by as we talked, and Laurie jumped behind a shelf and whispered, "it's Diane! I don't want to have to talk to her!" Diane gave me a sour look that silently ordered me to stop chatting and get back to work. I mumbled a goodbye-great-to-see-you-again to Laurie and walked off.

It's About Freakin' Time!

After about four hours on the phone with tech support from MSN, Dell, and Adelphia cable, our new broadband internet is up and running (I'm now getting upwards of 350 K per second on downloads, as opposed to the 2 K max from our MSN dial-up). A technician came by this afternoon and spent two hours setting everything up. For some reason, he was not able to open any web pages after all of the hardware was installed. He thought that MSN might be the problem, and he gave up and left it all for me to figure out. So, I unistalled all the MSN crap, but the MSN sign-on screen kept popping up. Apparently, MSN is like a virus; it keep multiple copies of itself hidden in a system and refuses to go away. I called MSN tech support and they helped me find all of the hidden files and delete them. The internet still wasn't working. So I called Adelphia and after speaking to one guy, I was transferred to another guy who discovered that our IP address was to blame; it was evidently set to the Windows default due to a corrupted winsock file and not actually viable. So, he had me call Dell so that they could walk me through editing the winsock elements of the system registry and manually configuring them (a process that was, to say the least, not pretty at all). After all of that, I ran cmd and typed ipconfig and found out that we had a new IP . . . but the internet still didn't work. I then called Adelphia again and the second guy I talked to helped me to change a few simple settings in internet explorer, and now it's working! What a way to spend a Friday night . . .    

I, Robot: or, Asimov Lite

I have not read many of Isaac Asimov's sci-fi novels (yet), but I have read the first few books in his Robot series. I, Robot, the first book, is a collection of nine loosely related short stories dealing with the rise of robots and their interactions with humans.

I went to see the movie version of I, Robot expecting that it would bear little resemblance to its namesake book. After all, the movie stars Will Smith, there isn't a practical way to pack nine stories into one movie, and the trailers said that the movie was "suggested" by Asimov's book (not to mention Hollywood's track record of mangling books to turn them into blockbusters). I decided to forget that the movie had anything to do with the book and try to enjoy it for its own sake.

The three laws of robotics play a major role:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm

2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law

Robots walk the streets side-by-side with humans, and because of the three laws, most people accept them as conveniences and don't consider the possibility that they could be dangerous. Detective Del Spooner (Smith), is one of the few humans who harbors a serious distrust/hatred for all robots (a flashback halfway through the movie explains why). As the movie progresses, he discovers that a new line of robots can somehow choose to ignore the three laws. This obviously poses a serious threat to humanity, and Spooner, with the help of Dr. Calvin, sets out to discover what went wrong and how to stop it.

The lead actress who plays Dr. Susan Calvin, Bridget Moynahan, is really, really, really, really hot. Oh, and she did a good job of acting, if I recall correctly (I was a bit . . . distracted). Will Smith was great in this movie and seemed comfortable in the role of a robot-hating detective; I'm just glad that he wasn't supposed to be Elijah Bailey, as I initially feared.

This film will inevitably be compared to Bicentennial Man by fans and critics alike. Bicentennial Man was based on the Asimov novel The Positronic Man, and while it was not faithful to the book at all times, it was fairly close (or so I've heard . . . I have not had a chance to read it yet). The fact that Bicentennial Man stuck close to the overall plot of the novel proves that Asimov's stories can make superb movies. I, Robot just takes some of Asimov's fundamental ideas (i.e. the Three Laws) and pushes them in different directions, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

(Side note: one of the characters mentions the fact that the internet eventually leads to the closing of all public libraries. I guess I don't have much job security).

Final rating: 80%. I, Robot is a greatly entertaining action movie. The special effects are wonderful, as are the sound effects, the music, the dialogue, etc. It's full of awesome action sequences and a few genuinely hilarious parts. So, if you are a fan of Asimov's work, see this movie, just don't try to compare it to the original I, Robot.

The End of an Era



Late last night I finished a series of Star Wars novels that I began reading in 1999. The New Jedi Order series spans 19 books and chronicles the five year war between the New Republic (allied with essentially everyone else in the galaxy) and an extra-galactic alien species called the Yuuzhan Vong. I was quite impressed by the scope of the series and its implications for the Star Wars universe. In past Star Wars novels, it seemed like the good guys would fight the bad guys, the good guys would win, then the novel would end. In the NJO, most of the time the good guys were on the run, barely managing to continue fighting as they faced endless defeats as the Yuuzhan Vong conquered or annihilated world after world. Most NJO novels ended on a depressing or only slightly optimistic note. For the first time, major characters died. The main characters have always been invincible and survived the most dangerous predicaments. With the deaths of Chewbacca, Anakin Solo, and Admiral Ackbar, Star Wars as a whole seemed to mature.

The NJO introduced numerous memorable characters: Nom Anor is definitely one of the most fascinating Star Wars villains. His duplicity, knack for survival, and determination make him greatly entertaining. I also loved Nen Yim, Harrar, Vergere, Onimi . . . the list goes on.

The Unifying Force was a superb conclusion with many surprises and revelations. I'm a little sad that the series is over; I’ve been reading these books for the past five years, practically one fourth of my life! At the same time, I’m also a bit relieved that it’s over; I’m ready to see the Star Wars universe expand in new directions. I'll miss seeing words like yorrik coral, dovin basals, villips, and vonduun crab armor. I still have plenty of Star Wars novels to read, and with Episode III coming out next year, many new Clone Wars era novels will be on store shelves soon. The war with the Yuuzhan Vong will have many repercussions in following novels, without a doubt, and I’m eager to see what will come next.

The New Jedi Order

1. Vector Prime, R.A. Salvatore: 91%

2. Dark Tide I: Onslaught, Michael A. Stackpole: 84%

3. Dark Tide II: Ruin, Michael A. Stackpole: 82%

4. Agents of Chaos I: Hero’s Trial, James Luceno: 83%

5. Agents of Chaos II: Jedi Eclipse, James Luceno: 71%

6. Balance Point, Kathy Tyers: 73%

7. Edge of Victory I: Conquest, Greg Keyes: 81%

8. Edge of Victory II: Rebirth, Greg Keyes: 72%

9. Star by Star, Troy Denning: 86%

10. Dark Journey, Elaine Cunningham: 68%

11. Enemy Lines I: Rebel Dream, Aaron Allston: 76%

12. Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand, Aaron Allston: 81%

13. Traitor, Matthew Stover: 85%

14. Destiny’s Way, Walter Jon Williams: 74%

15. Force Heretic I: Remnant, Sean Williams & Shane Dix: 82%

16. Force Heretic II: Refugee, Sean Williams & Shane Dix: 82%

17. Force Heretic III: Reunion, Sean Williams & Shane Dix: 72%

18. The Final Prophecy, Greg Keyes: 61%

19. The Unifying Force, James Luceno: 82%

Total pages: 6,974
(sadly, I actually added this myself. I think I need a girlfriend . . . er, that would actually multiply my problems, I guess. Never mind).

News, News, News . . .

The past couple of days at work have been out of the ordinary (which is always a good thing, in my line of work). Diane, my boss, asked me to be a part of a four-person panel to interview people for jobs at the library. I agreed to, of course. The panel included Diane, Joanne (my immediate supervisor in the afternoon) and Chris, the assistant director of the library. We proceeded upstairs to the director's office (I had actually never even been upstairs before, so I was particularly excited), and we all sat around a large glass table. We interviewed four people for a 20 hour morning shelving page job. The basic interview routine involved each member of the panel asking the interviewee a set of predetermined questions (“give us an example of a time you provided excellent customer service,” or “tell us about your work history and how it might aid you in the position you seek at the library,” for example. Actually, those aren’t really questions, they’re more like commands, but you get the point). As the interviewee responded, we all took notes on what they said. At the end of each interview, the four of us gave the candidate a score out of 100 based on the sum of various other numbers that rated the candidate’s confidence level, relevance of past work experience, etc. I was surprised (pleasantly) when all four of us rated each candidate similarly. I was initially afraid that my scores would be embarrassing outliers. Once all of the interviews were over, we ranked each of the candidates in terms of who we thought would be the best, then second choice, etc. The decision was unanimous. In the time between interviews, I talked with my bosses about various aspects of the library and listened to an intriguing speech about discrimination from the assistant director. The discrimination discussion began after we had been talking about how introverts make the best shelvers because they don’t stand around and chat with people when they are supposed to be working. The assistant director reminded us that we can’t just choose all introverts and discriminate against extroverts. The line between hiring people for their qualifications and discrimination is very blurry, it seems to me. The last candidate was a woman from India. She had been in the U.S. for six years and only recently obtained a work permit. She was amiable and well-spoken, but she received mid 70% rating from all of us because of her lack of work experience. She won’t be selected because two of the other candidates rated over 90%. I really wanted to see her get the job . . . I’m sympathetic to foreigners because I’ve been a foreigner and I know how difficult it is to live in another country. The assistant director reminded us that we cannot discriminate in favor of her simply because she is a foreigner. I am so glad that I don’t have to hire people all the time . . . it’s such messy work. Even so, it was a great experience that gave me a new perspective of the library. I was greatly honored that Diane selected me to be on the panel, because usually only senior shelving pages are entitled to the position. Now, if only she would raise my pay . . .

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in recent memory. At 7:30 AM, I drove our family van to the Dodge dealership to have the brakes checked out. Lately they've been making frightening grinding noises, which is doubly irritating because we just had the brakes fixed late last month. When I returned home, I had to drive my mom to work, and when I returned from that, my brother called from work to say that he was feeling sick and needed to be picked up immediately (I was borrowing his car since the van was in the shop). On the way to pick him up, I stopped at the four-way stop close to our house. Two cars were already stopped to my left by the time I stopped, so I waited a couple of seconds thinking that they would go. A guy in one of the cars motioned me to go ahead, so I did. When I was 85% of the way through the intersection, the lady in the other car decided that it was her turn and began speeding toward me. She had to slam on her brakes to keep from crashing into me. I was really, really irritated. Women drivers . . . what can I say. A few minutes later, I was driving down a street when a guy on a side street wasn't paying attention and nearly smacked into me. I felt like I was the only person on the road who knew how to drive! How hard is it to look both ways before you pull onto a street? By the time I picked Joe up and came back to the house, it was 9:30 AM. I was annoyed that I had just spent the last two solid hours driving people around, and I hadn’t even had breakfast of taken a shower. A couple hours later I left for work. As I entered the library parking lot, a man in an ancient Ford Taurus (station-wagon model) was pulling out of a parking space in front of me. I was irritated by his exceedingly slow speed, so I moved to the left side and went around him. I found a parking spot on the other side of the building, but before I got out of the car, I saw the Taurus parked right behind me. I fiddled with the CD player for a few seconds and pretended to be very busy, hoping that the man wouldn’t notice me. I was wrong. He stood right by my door, hands behind his back, patiently waiting for me to step outside. He was in his mid-fifties, gray hair, and I had seen him inside the library a few times. I let him wait another minute before I opened my door. He said, in a calm voice, that I had just been very rude. Why couldn’t I have waited a few seconds until he backed out? He wondered. I apologized, then I mentioned that all I had done was drive around him because I was in a hurry to get to work on time, I hadn’t endangered anyone, and in my experience the people who are driving down the street have the right-of-way, and cars in parking spaces must yield to them. I really don’t know if that’s correct or not, but it sounded fairly convincing (Colorado State Driver’s Manual, anyone?). He didn’t buy it. He just wanted my assurance that I would never do it again, and when I agreed, he got back into his car and drove off. I was annoyed. Who was he to confront me like that for such a miniscule offense? For the next hour at work I thought of all kinds of things I wished that I had said/done ranging from walking by him without saying a word to threatening to call the security guards over. I usually enjoy confrontations, so I don’t know why I became a servile child when he approached me. Now that I've had some time to cool off, I can see that it wasn't a big deal. One good thing did happen at work, though: I whined to Jennifer about how by my day was, and she comforted me. Ahhhhh . . . um, anyway, so I went home later and my parents yelled at me for half an hour about how at school I’m so disciplined and responsible, but at home I’m lazy and I never do anything, and I don’t seem to care about my future, etc., etc. ad infinitum. I was already on edge, and I may have let a few inappropriate words slip. My Dad didn’t like that. So, yesterday was abysmal for many reasons, but today has been quite good (I’ve mostly just worked around the house non-stop since I have the day off from work to show my parents that I’m not really a bum . . . well, not all the time, at least).

Now for the sentence that I seem to type more than any other: today I was supposed to go hiking, but . . . yes, indeed, it has happened again. My plans were shattered by circumstances beyond my control. I had planned to climb three fourteeners with Josh and his friend Mike: Mt. Democrat, Lincoln, and Bross. Stupid van, stupid, stupid brakes. Now for the phrase that shows up with equal frequency: Oh well, maybe next time.

Reading News

Big Mama's Funeral
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
82%

The Final Prophecy
Greg Keyes
61%

The Sword of Bedwyr
R.A. Salvatore
87%

The Incredible and Sad Tale of Innocent Eréndira
and Her Heartless Grandmother
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
100%!

"Sometimes the wild stallion will buck, but no one is there to catch it"

I don't think that any other Nonav Wurstnog quote could describe my current feelings better than the one above. I received a surprising letter in the mail today: The Penwood Review, a quarterly magazine, has decided to publish a poem that I submitted a few months ago. It will appear in their Spring 2005 issue. I sent them three poems, and they actually want to publish my least favorite. Oh well, I won't complain. I had actually given up on them a long time ago, so I was quite shocked. I guess Dr. Guinn was right . . . it does take a long time to hear back from publishers.

Perhaps Another Day . . .

On Sunday Joe, my Dad, and I woke up at 4:30 AM, finished some last minute packing, and set off for Gray's and Torrey's Peaks. I've wanted to climb them for awhile now, because they are apparently some of the easier fourteeners (not to say that they would be easy . . .). I thought it would be a good warm-up for Mount of the Holy Cross at the end of this month. We had to drive through Denver to Golden, which took us longer than we expected because we weren't exactly sure how to connect with I-70 once we were in Denver. We eventually arrived at the correct exit, but we had to drive for two miles on a dirt road. The road wasn't too bad; it was wide in most places and well-maintained (I'm using Guatemalan dirt roads for comparison, so I may be way off), but our minivan isn't suited to anything other than city streets. I really, really need to buy a truck soon. We received multiple smirks from people passing us in SUVs. We had to park about a mile or two from the Steven’s Gulch trailhead. To shorten this story, we basically hiked about an eighth of a mile when Joe couldn't go any further. He's still on medication that raises his blood pressure and increases his pulse. We decided that we needed to turn back; if he was already that exhausted, he wouldn't even make it halfway to one of the summits. I was disappointed that we had to leave (understatement). After all, we had gotten up at 4:30 and just driven for over an hour and a half. At least now we know that Joe won't make it with us up Holy Cross.

Movie News

The Terminal
(Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones) 2004: 91%

Snatch
(Brad Pitt, Benicio Del Toro, ) 2000: 72%

Ladykillers
(Sir Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Katie Johnson) 1955: 64%

Secret Window
(Johnny Depp, John Turturro) 2004: 76%

M
(Peter Lorre) 1931: 68%

Spider-Man 2
(Toby Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina) 2004: 86%

Me, Myself & Irene
(Jim Carey, Renée Zellweger) 2000: 54%

Return of the Mice

This morning Spanky was in the backyard barking at one of the window wells. I went over to check it out and found another mouse (similar in appearance to St. Morvanius) clinging to the window screen. I grabbed my mouse-catching-box and glove and dropped into the window well. The mouse scurried under a scrap of newspaper, and I lifted it up to find two mice. The other mouse was much larger than the St. Morvanius impersonator, and he had bristly fur and tiny eyes. First, I caught the cute mouse and set him free, then I attempted to capture the larger one. He was fast. I was finally able to trap him in the box and release him beyond the wall as well. I have decided to name the cute one St. Ladsi, and the larger, nastier one St. Portifucius. I'm getting tired of all of these mice . . . and eventually I'll run out of names of saints, so I hope they quit falling into our window wells.

A Perfect Circle, June 12th, Colorado Springs City Auditorium:


.

It’s taken me a few weeks to write this post, not because it’s especially long or eloquent, but because I’m really, really lazy and I tend to begin projects and lay them aside for long periods of time. I know that this account in disconnected, disjointed, and otherwise incomprehensible in places, but I hope that it’s at least partially lucid. Concerts are always sensory-overloading experiences for me, and afterward I often have trouble recalling the exact order of events (Regular concert timeline: beginning – prolonged insanity – end).

Saturday, June 12th:
I went to work, came back home and changed clothes, then Joe and I hopped into his car to leave for the Perfect Circle concert. The City Auditorium is downtown on Kiowa street (Jared will no doubt recall getting lost in that area with me late one night last summer). We left at 5:30 even though the show started at 8:00. Joe wasn’t happy about leaving so early, but I explained that the line at the doors would be huge. I wore my Smashing Pumpkins Zero t-shirt, and Joe wore his Thursday t-shirt. Some people think it’s stupid to wear shirts from other bands to concerts. I agree, but I did it anyway. We had to park a good five blocks from the City Auditorium, but the parking was free. This was APC’s penultimate show on their Thirteenth Step tour (their last one was at Red Rocks in Denver the next night, a venue that I’ve heard is insanely awesome).


APC on the cover of GO! magazine


This is it, folks, my actual ticket . . . no, seriously!

We waited in line from about 6:00 until 8:00, and it was a good thing we arrived early because soon the line stretched around the block. I don’t think that I will ever feel completely comfortable around the concert-going crowd. I feel out of place because I’m usually one of the few without tattoos, a cigarette in my mouth, a bottle of beer in one hand, and the need to say “f***” ever 2.5 seconds. The people right behind us were disgusting. All they talked about was how many people they want to have sex with at one time (including extremely graphic details). I felt like I was going to contract an STD just standing near them. Joe and I tried to ignore them by discussing which songs we hoped to hear. We both agreed that The Hollow was at the top of our list. At one point as we waited in line a DJ from KILO 94.3 walked by with a microphone interviewing fans about the show. The doors were supposed to open at 7 PM, but we didn’t get inside until 8 PM (it began to rain a little shortly after 7:00). They had to do security searches on everyone, and it took a long time.


APC

The interior of the City Auditorium surprised me, mainly because it looked like it had been there for fifty years without a single renovation. The flip-down seats were wooden, badly splintered, and in need of a new coat of paint. The seats on our tickets were unbelievably crappy (thanks again, Ticketmaster). Joe and I decided to find closer seats, so we walked over to the right side balcony. We sat a couple of rows back, but we were still only about 50 feet from the stage (as opposed to the 500 feet or so that our original seats would have been).

The opening band was The Burning Brides. Terrible, terrible band. I’m not the kind of rock fan who hears loud guitars and screaming and automatically thinks it must be good. When I go to a concert I usually don’t care to hear the opening band; I’ve heard some terrible openers, so I never expect much. The lead singer annoyed me; he played to every rock & roll cliché possible: long hair, headbanging as he played his flying V guitar, jumping in the air and doing the splits, screaming, swinging his guitar in the air, and encouraging moshing. The band left the stage and the house lights came on. Thankfully.

After a twenty minute intermission, the house lights went off, and everyone began cheering. Billy Howerdel (guitars) and Jeordie White (bass) came onstage and went to opposite corners of the stage and began playing. At the back of the stage, a curtain came up revealing James Iha standing on a platform (at that point I began to cheer quite loudly). A large curtain still dominated the middle of the stage, then red lights back-lit it revealing Maynard James Keenan’s silhouette. At first, I thought that the silhouette belonged to a woman: long hair, small frame, and he was at first singing in a very high voice.


Billy Howerdel and Maynard James Keenan's shadow


Billy Howerdel

The first song, Vanishing, was particularly haunting. When it was over, the main curtain ascended, revealing Maynard and a stage set with leafless, withered trees. Most of the fans were there to see Maynard, of course, though I was more interested in James Iha. A street sign reading “Maynard Rd.” was attached to the microphone stand. I was at first shocked that the curtain had come up at all; for all of the other APC shows this year, Maynard has stayed behind a curtain for the whole show (eccentric artist, I suppose). I guess that since this was the next-to-last show, he decided to finally show himself.


Maynard . . . yes, he is an odd fellow


.

During the whole show, the crowd on the floor level was insane. A few times, security guards had to break up the moshing because it became too violent. Many people were crowd surfing, and when they reached the front pit, the security guards grabbed them, and took them . . . somewhere. They made it very clear that moshing and crowd surfing were not allowed, so I bet they kicked the people out of the place.

When you give a successful, multi-million dollar recording artist a microphone and a dedicated audience, they can’t help but rant. It seems like most celebrities hate George W. Bush, and I’m really tired of their petty slander. Maynard’s anti-Bush diatribe would have made Eddie Vedder proud. After a full five minutes of attacking Bush’s policies, Maynard told everyone to say “****" to Bush. He then blabbed on about voting responsibly, etc, etc. Stick to singing, Maynard, and leave politics to people who know what they’re doing!


Jeordie White


Josh Freese

They ended the show with the song Judith, my least favorite song of theirs. Lately I’ve been listening to numerous songs featuring slide guitars, and I was surprised to see Billy playing the slide for Judith! Very, very cool. As the song began to wind down, hundreds of ping pong balls dropped from the ceiling onto Maynard. He kicked them out to the crowd as he continued singing. I later learned that this was a practical joke played on Maynard by some of the members of the crew.

Judith ended, and much applause ensued. All the band members began exiting the stage, and James Iha came near our side. I stood up in my Zero shirt and screamed “go James!” so loud that I thought my throat would explode out of my mouth (is that possible? Hmmm . . .whatever). Under normal circumstances, I loathe fans who go insane for stars, but this was James Iha for gollywoggle’s sake!


James Iha

The biggest highlight of the show was when they played The Hollow twice in a row! After the first time through, Maynard said, “since this is our next to last show, we’re going to do that song again.” Good enough reason for me. The strength of The Package and Thinking of You were especially striking, and I was stunned by the power of Maynard’s vocals. It’s one thing to hear him on a CD, but live he’s absolutely incredible.

I was disappointed mainly by the fact that we couldn’t see Josh Freese, the drummer, from our seats. During The Nurse Who Loved Me, Joe and I got up and walked to the back of the auditorium so we could see him. That made up for it a little. I wish that they had played Orestes, my favorite song of theirs. I found out that they played Orestes and Gravity the following evening in Denver. Grrrr.

On the way home, Joe and I listened to KILO and a guy called in talking about the show. He was going crazy (in a good way) about how they played The Hollow twice. The next day I posted a review on APC’s website expressing similar sentiments.
Setlist:

Vanishing
Pet
The Hollow
The Hollow
Magdalena
Weak and Powerless
Blue
Breña
Thinking of You
A Stranger
The Package
3 Libras
The Nurse Who Loved Me (Failure cover)
Thomas
The Outsider
The Noose
Judith